Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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