EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Blood and glitter go together right?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
