I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I need to calm my uterus...
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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