Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
