exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
