i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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