Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize
