We're facebook friends in real life
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Randomize
