Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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