dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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