On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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