Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
only you would photoshop your dick
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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