he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
