Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize