just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
