so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
