Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I AM VODKA MAN
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
