Swine flu. Run for my life!
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize