I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
