If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
