What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
