i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
