i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
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can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
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I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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