I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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