She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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