i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
You pole danced in your parka.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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