I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
