You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
