I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize