I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Randomize
