just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
