Who wears a wallet chain?!
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
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I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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