Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
