I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
