why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
