this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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