apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
