my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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