Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
We got so high we made milksteak
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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