i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize