I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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