I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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