Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
