Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
he just fucked me for my cheese..
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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