you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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