Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just gift wrapped bread.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
