great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You ate ashes out of my bong
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
