i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
