a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
he was CRYING into my vagina
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
A+ Viking dick
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
