This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
