apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
