its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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