and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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