All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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