Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
