Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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