i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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