I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
This is classic penis vs brain.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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