I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Randomize
