I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
