i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
