Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
