I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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