im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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