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Can Purell be used as lube?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
