Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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